Lauren Zoeller

How This 7-Figure Entrepreneur Uses Somatic Experiencing To Conquer Life's Biggest Challenges

How This 7-Figure Entrepreneur Uses Somatic Experiencing To Conquer Life's Biggest Challenges

WITH

Lauren Zoeller

The Limitless Podcast

How This 7-Figure Entrepreneur Uses Somatic Experiencing To Conquer Life's Biggest Challenges

with Lauren Zoeller

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Trauma is a fact of life; everyone everywhere has it. Traumatic experiences may not be our fault, but healing from them is our responsibility. Getting to the root cause of “what happened to you,” instead of thinking “what’s wrong with you,” is essential to your healing. Doing the inner work requires your full commitment in order to take ownership of your future.

In 2018, Lauren Zoeller was running a successful business, had a partner she adored and to anyone on the outside looking in, life was pretty perfect. But three phone calls brought her to her rock bottom. The first phone call was from her boyfriend’s mother, telling her he was going back to rehab for the sixth time that year. The second phone call was from her CPA who said he was dropping her as a client because her business was $30,000 in the red and he saw “no hope” for her future. The third phone call was from her doctor telling her that test results came back showing potential cancer. 

That day Lauren made a choice to face the healing she was ignoring and found somatic therapy to be the most successful healing modality. The results were better, faster and created permanent change than traditional therapy, meditation, coaching and other healing modalities. This work created a ripple effect and transformed every area of her life. She then went from $30,000 in the red in her business to generating $30,000 a month in her business. 

Lauren Zoeller is the founder of The Aligned Love Experience, and an expert in reparenting, generational healing and somatic experiencing. In this Limitless Podcast episode, she tells us how she turned her chaos into an opportunity to rise up and fulfill her mission: to help people find alignment, fulfillment and clarity in their relationships with themselves and with others.

"It's important to source your own worth from within rather than sourcing it from something external."

- Lauren Zoeller
@LimitlessShow @franklyco_

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IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN

  • How somatic experiencing can lead to breakthroughs of healing past traumas.

  • How to view struggles as opportunities to grow, push forward and fulfill your purpose.

  • The importance of doing the inner work in order to improve the relationships you attract and the life you want to lead.

LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE

Johanna Buckweitz:
How would you feel if time and money were no objects or if you always knew that the answers you saw were at your fingertips or that the creative spark you would need for the next project was always going to be there? You would feel limitless. I’m Johanna Buckweitz, and it is my honor to welcome all of you to limitless the show where we have open, honest, and direct communication with extraordinary women in business to provide you with actual next steps for super growth based on their proven success tactics. Joining me on today’s episode is Lauren Zoeller, a seven figure entrepreneur, host of the Aligned Love Podcast. Speaker, author, and the founder of the Aligned Love Experience, where she uses her expertise in reparenting, generational healing and somatic experiencing, and her proprietary voice activation method to help thousands of men and women heal from past trauma and take ownership of their future. Lauren, welcome to Limitless.
Lauren Zoeller:
I’m so excited to be here. I’ve been looking forward.
Johanna Buckweitz:
I’m so excited to have you on, so anyone who’s tuning in for the first time, welcome to the show. Anyone who’s been here before you know the drill. So I always love to start every episode by sharing this belief that I have, that all female entrepreneurs are modern day superheroes. So as a superhero entrepreneur, you are. Lauren, what’s your superpower?
Lauren Zoeller:
Oh my goodness. I would say that my superpower is listening. Is listening and really being able to be present with someone when they are sharing or if they are in pain or even if they’re sharing joy. Just the ability to listen and be present has honestly been my greatest superpower in helping me build this massive empire that I feel like I have underneath my belt.
Johanna Buckweitz:
I love that. And, and sometimes that’s like hard to come by, right? Because like not everyone is like really listening and hearing what you’re saying. Like, you know, they’re nodding their head and doing the motions, but then it’s like half of what you just said totally like went over their head. They missed all of it.
Lauren Zoeller:
Absolutely. And it’s, it’s interesting because so much of the work that I do leads people back into presence, true presence and how to be in the moment. And we as humans have been conditioned to not be present. So I really do think if people can harness it, they can change the world if they can find their ability to be present.
Johanna Buckweitz:
I totally agree. So what is your story like? What has inspired you to create this incredible company and just do the amazing work you do.
Lauren Zoeller:
Oh my goodness. So it’s a long one, but for the sake of us not being here all day, , I’m gonna start about eight and a half years ago when I actually started my coaching practice. I started coaching because I had this knack for really wanting to help people. And like most coaches, when they enter into the coaching world, I had no idea who I wanted to serve. I just wanted to serve everybody. So when I started coaching, I was specifically niche to helping other coaches and consultants launch their business with heart, and I, in essence, was a glorified business coach and I was trying to figure out how to help people in that avenue, and it was great if you saw me from the outside. When I launched my business, about a year and it looked like I had the perfect life. If you followed me on Instagram, it looked like I was traveling the world. I had this beautiful boyfriend, my health, I was in tip top shape. All of these things look like I was just living this miraculous life and what people didn’t see. Was that on the inside? It was actually the exact opposite. I operated a business for about two and a half years, and it was not. What it looked like externally, and I had this moment about two and a half years into my coaching practice that really was my rock bottom moment and brought me down to my knees and was the breakdown that led to the breakthrough. That now is the work that I do today. But I like to tell the story because I think it highlights a lot. It highlights that no matter how perfect someone’s life looks on the outside, you never truly know what struggles they’re going, and so my, my breakdown in my rock bottom moment came and it came in one swift kick in the bottom in a matter of 24 hours, and it came down to three phone calls that changed my life. The first phone call came, it was a Saturday morning from my then boyfriend at the time from his mother letting me know that he was going to rehab for the sixth time in one year. Now, this was a man who was very well known in Nashville. Nobody even knew he had an addiction problem. That was the first call I received. The second call that same day came from my accountant letting me know that my seemingly booming business was $30,000 in debt, and he had no idea how we were gonna pull ourselves out of the hole. And then the third call I received just a few hours after my accountant called. It was from my doctor letting me know that a biopsy that I had taken prior that week had come back as potential cancer.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Wow.
Lauren Zoeller: So in a matter of less than 24 hours, my life came crashing down. And this facade that I had built, this mask of this perfect life, I couldn’t hide behind it anymore because even the mask was crumbling to the floor. So it was in that moment that I knew something had to shift, and I had been doing so much work. I was in therapy, I’d been in therapy for 10 years. I was a coach. So I was using all of the mindset hacks that every coach learned, and yet my life was still in the dust so it was not where I wanted it to be. So that is when I stumbled into somatic experiencing and somatic therapy, I had a friend that had suggested it to me and I started to look at the way that my nervous system was handling and storing trauma that was trapped in my body, and I started to become a student of love. I started to do some of this body work, and I’ll tell you that the result of that. It led me to a beautiful soul filled relationship. My business went from being $30,000 in debt to making $30,000 in one month.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Wow.
Lauren Zoeller:
And I eradicated my cancer scare. So that work. Is now the work that I lead men and women through in my practice and it’s a body centered approach through the lens of somatic experiencing. And that’s what I do now. I help women and men find and keep healthy love by looking at the relational patterns that they have kept stored in their nervous system that are keeping them from it aligned life.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Wow. Well, first of all, thank you for sharing your story and the way like communicate it is so powerful because to your point, it’s such a good reminder that like, especially with everyone we follow on social media, there’s so much that you’re not seeing. You’re just seeing what that person wants you to see and it, it’s, I think, an important reminder for all of us to, one, not compare ourselves to other people because you don’t know the truth, but also to show everyone a lot of compassion and grace if we’re not doing so already, because you have absolutely no idea what someone is dealing with behind the lens, and you don’t know like how your words might uplift them or might be the thing that fully tears them down. So I think like it’s incredible the work that you’re doing, how you’ve been able to apply that for yourself in your own life and transforming everybody else’s life that you work with too. For anyone who is not familiar, what is somatic experiencing?
Lauren Zoeller:
Yeah, so Somatic experiencing is looking at the way that the body stores trauma through the lens of the nervous system. So if we’re looking at the definition of trauma from a somatic lens, it is the stuck psychosomatic response in your body that happens related to an event that was too fast, too much, or too soon for your body to properly regulate. Okay, so when we get stuck in these survival responses, because our body doesn’t know how to properly regulate them, so for instance, if you were in a car wreck, you’ve seen anybody who’s been through a traumatic car wreck, you may see their body go into a free state. They look like a deer in headlight. Now if their body is able to properly function and regulate in that moment, you’ll see them go to freeze, and then their body will start to shake, which means their body’s coming back down through what we call sympathetic activation. And then it will settle into a normal state that you and I are both in right now, but if something happens and the body isn’t allowed to make that full complete activation and deactivation cycle, those survival responses gets stuck in the body, and they keep us from being able to relate to one another properly. So what somatic experiencing does is it goes into the nervous system and it allows the body to complete cycles that have not had a chance to be completed through the lens of the nervous system, which again, can help you find a sense of safety when you’re relating to someone else. So it’s just giving you that, that lens of being able to do the body work and get it online with the brain.
Johanna Buckweitz:
That makes sense. So when you talk about trauma, I think many people are familiar with that term, but s people might, you know, have different definitions for what that actually means. Some people who are listening hear trauma and hear, Oh, that’s definitely not me. I don’t have trauma. Because they think of this huge like headline making event that maybe you would see on the news or read about. But then there’s also people who are listening who are like, Oh, I know that there’s a lot of little microtraumas. Like, you know, when you’re a little kid and if like your mom always yells at you and tells you not to do something, you grow up, never doing that thing that she told you too, because you think it’s scary and if you do, there’s a consequence. So what is trauma exactly and does everybody have it?
Lauren Zoeller:
I love this question. So yes, every single human on this planet has trauma. And I’ll say this, there is no one trauma that is more significant than another. So we often hear the term Big T and little t. To try to categorize the way that trauma works in people’s lives, and I personally don’t really love defining trauma with Big T and Little Ty. And here’s why. What we know about the nervous system is that there are four survival response patterns. There’s fight, there’s flight, there’s freeze, and there’s fun and every single person on this planet has these four survival responses in their nervous system. When something is scary and it’s too fast, too much, or too soon, your body’s gonna go into one of those four survival responses. Okay? Now, what our nervous system doesn’t say is,how bad is this event? Should I go in just a little to fight and flight, or should I go into fight and flight? A lot? Our bodies are so different so when we look at trauma and we understand that every single person on the planet has it, you have to understand that the way that your body responds to being, let’s say, picked last on the Dodge ball team in third grade, five weeks in a row, to another person who’s standing right beside you, who may have been molested by a family member for five weeks in a row. Right. The body doesn’t know the difference. It just goes into a survival response, right? That can have the same exact response on the body. Both of those instances can have the exact same response, even though there’s two different people and they’re experiencing two different things. Because we only have four survival responses, it’s going to go into one of those to try to keep us safe. So it, if we really grasp the concept of. We recognize that every single human on the planet has trauma and there is no one traumatic experience that is more or less than another one. It just depends on the way that the body reacted in that moment.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Wow, that’s fascinating. And I, I appreciate that you ex like explained that in really just a way that I think all of us can understand be, and I liked, to your point, not categorizing it as like big tea and little tea, cause that almost says like, Hey, one’s actually a lot worse than the other. But as you explained it, like. So what a big T trauma versus a little t trauma could be, can actually be recognized, the same exact thing within the body. So I, I think that’s, that’s fascinating in of itself. So how do you actually recognize trauma how do you recognize those patterns? How do you recognize how, like the way that you’re currently behaving or relating to other people, whether it’s your significant other, whether it’s your colleague, whether it’s your friends, your parents, your children, whoever. How do you identify how like a certain trauma or if there, you know what that trauma even is, is showing up in your relationships.
Lauren Zoeller:
Yeah, great question, and I’m gonna try to answer this as concisely as possible. But if you turn on your listening ears and really grasp this, it’ll change so much. So the nervous system only speaks in sensation and emotion. It doesn’t actually speak in logical construction. So, so many people get stuck in what’s called story. Right. They start to talk their way. This is why a lot of talk therapy doesn’t really work for people is because you’re actually retraumatizing the nervous system and you’re just talking in circles. Okay? Now, if we think about the fact that the nervous system speaks in sensation and emotion, if we can learn the language of our body and if we can learn to listen to our nervous system, it can give us a lot of information about whether or not we are operating and peace and safety or a sense of activation. Now, as I just spoke a moment ago, there are four survival response patterns, fight, flight, freeze, and fun. If we think about fight and flight, let’s just imagine that there’s a bear in the room, okay? Like we’re just camping, and all of a sudden this bear appears, right? Chances are the first thing that you’re going to do is you’re gonna try to run away from the bear. Yeah. Now, in order for your body to get away from the. The blood has to, has to rush from your vital organs into your extremities. Your heart’s gonna start to speed up. Your breath is probably going to start to get shallow. Your eyes may dilate and get wide. Your shoulders may pull up to your ears because your body is preparing to get you away from the threat. Okay? All of these are sensations that appear when your body is in. Okay. Now the same thing happens with fight. If someone is going to fight the bear, their, their, their fists are probably going to clench again their eyes are gonna dilate their, their heart rates still sped up, their heels may be lifted. They’re ready to brace themselves, to fight this bear. Okay, So that’s for fight and flight. Now for freeze and fun, which are also two survival responses for freeze. Your body. Let’s say that the, the bear has backed you into a corner, You have nowhere else to go, and he’s puling you to death. Your body does this really brilliant thing where it actually starts to shut down to and turns off your nerve, nerve receptors so that you don’t feel pain and you can pretend like you’re dead, right? So your breath is gonna start getting really, really, really deep, and there will be more time in between. Your eyes may widen. You may look like you’re actually frozen. You can’t access any sort of sensation. It just feels like you’re in this free state. Your body does the same thing when you’re in fawning. Fawning is your last ditch effort for survival. It’s trying to befriend the bear, right? So you’re there about to die and you have just released everything, and all you’re doing is praying and befriending that this bear doesn’t kill you. All four of these survival responses have sensations and emotions attached to them. So why does this matter? You’re probably like, Okay, I don’t understand it. Well, if you get to know the language of your nervous system, and let’s say that you are conversing with someone that you’re on a date with and you notice that your heart rate is really elevated and you’re starting to sweat and you feel like you wanna go to the bathroom, like you wanna run away from the date, that may tell you that there’s some trapped dysregulation in your system that needs to be regulated. It should feel like peace and safety. So if we understand the four survival response patterns and we understand the sensations and the emotion, That are connected to them and we start to listen to our body your nervous system will show you everything that you need to know as to whether or not you’re living in a trauma state. You’re in a dysregulated state. And then from there you can start to regulate that pattern to find more access to peace and safety.
Johanna Buckweitz:
So once you identify, right, Cause I think that’s great, like your body is literally showing you and it’s giving you the direction like hey you’re responding like this, that means that there’s something there. How? Like I understand that you say like, Okay, then you can try to shift it. But do you have to identify what the cause of it is? Like if you’re on that date and your heart rate starts to speed up and you wanna run away, do you need to like circle back and say, Hey, like, why did that even cause it in the first place or you can still just find a way to move through it so that never happens to you again.
Lauren Zoeller:
So there’s, there’s differentiating thoughts with this, especially in the SE world. Again, it because the nervous system doesn’t speak in cognitive awareness, it only speaks in sensation and emotion. You can actually regulate a traumatic experience without needing to go back into what caused it. Now, sometimes people want that clarification and they wanna get the brain online with the body, and so there. There are times where that in and of itself is a cathartic release for people, but from just the lens of SE, you can actually regulate your nervous system without having to go back and figuring out why. Now to say that too, there is power in being able to understand where that dysregulation stems from, and oftentimes we can’t get to the root of. Until we go back and look at our childhood and look at our generational dynamics, and then we really realize that there’s a lot of dysregulation in the body that stirs up something and then we can regulate from there. So that’s kind of a, that’s kind of a gray answer. I, in my practice, I do both. I do a little bit of digging in mindset work, and then we deal with, okay, after we’ve dug that up and that that’s risen in the body, how can we then regulate that and get you to a safe space?
Johanna Buckweitz:
How long does it actually take to regulate?
Lauren Zoeller: So it just depends. It depends on, there’s another term in se without getting too technical, and I geek out on all the science stuff. So, if you’re listening, and this is really technical, it’s okay. You don’t have to know all of this. This is why you go see an SE practitioner. But there is a a term in se called coupling, and that means that you can couple different survival patterns on top of one another. They can kind of get in this coupled. So when you’re working with a trained sep, we’re really working to uncouple those trauma responses in a lot of ways. So I have clients who have seen massive breakthroughs in a 60 minute session. I have clients that have been working on the same dysregulation response for months. Some for years, depending on how deeply ingrained it is, and if it’s coupled with other traumatic experiences and that are stuck in the body.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Does someone have to know like what the exact problem is or like, you know, if they identify, okay, I know I have trauma, but maybe I don’t know exactly how it’s showing up, can they still, you know, do this type of work? Or do they need to like exactly pinpoint like, Hey, I know I notice I react this way when someone says this, this is what happens in all my relationships. Like, do they have to identify that specifically?
Lauren Zoeller:
No, No. As a matter of fact, most women and men that make their way to me, they have no idea. They just know that they have been in chronic dating situations over and over. They don’t understand like, Why do I keep attracting all of these emotionally unavailable partners? Why does it keep happening? Or why? Every time when I see my mom do I feel this overwhelming sense of. And like I can’t even be around my family, right? They have no idea most of the time. And I would say that every person on the planet needs SE work, not just the people who have identified that they have trauma. It really helps everyone. Everyone should go through it.
Johanna Buckweitz:
I love that. So did anyone listening, Lauren and I actually met in Nashville at this Brand Builders Group event, and what stood out to me the most about you is you, when you were sharing a bit about, you know, what it is you do, and I, I’m definitely not gonna quote you directly, but I do remember that you had said that like what people actually say about you, What your clients have said is that in three months of working with you, they have healed more and have done so much more than in 10 years of therapy. When you said that, like I think my eyes like popped outta my head and I was completely blown away. So first of all, congratulations, that is like the best testimonial ever and second, how have you been able to do that? Like how have you been able to become the best at what you do that people who have. Done like 10 years of therapy or have tried all these other, you know, formats for trying to heal patterns, have not been able to do so, but in three months, like they’re transformed.
Lauren Zoeller:
Yeah. First off, thank you. Thank you so much. That’s one of our most prized testimonials that we get so often and it, I do not take it lightly. That is something that, cause I, I know, I also know how hard therapists work.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Yeah.
Lauren Zoeller:
And to answer that question, I’ll say, honestly, it was resiliency and not giving up on myself because I was so frustrated. Johanna, I was in the space where I had, I mean, truly, I had probably invested close to six figures in my own healing, and I was still feeling so broken, but I refused to give up.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Yeah.
Lauren Zoeller:
I truly refused to give up and I was like, I’ve gotta find the answer. I know that there’s an answer out there. I know that there is, and that is when once I dug deep enough, that is where I found somatic experiencing and really, you know, I use SE as a small part of what I do. I think it’s the most transformational in combination with my voice activation method. But truly it was being able to understand I had done all this discovery work. I, if you would’ve met me when I was having my breakdown, I could have sat and told you about my childhood trauma. I could have told you about my generational trauma, but I didn’t have the tools to be able to understand that it was still having an effect on my body. and the way that I was calling people into my life because it felt safe, right? My go-to is alcoholics. So those alcoholics felt really safe to my nervous system and I’ll just tell this this quick story cause I feel like this gives a little bit of context. I had been in therapy and my therapist and I had connected the link that. What I enjoyed being with alcoholics because I felt like I could save them, and I grew up in a childhood home. My mother was a Polish woman who does everything for everyone else before she takes care of herself. Like that’s just who she is. If you were to meet her tomorrow and she had surgery the night before, you would walk into a full spread of food because if you are happy, she’s happy. Right. So at a very young age, I learned to put myself last and to serve others to fill my worth cup. And I had worked through years of therapy to understand this dynamic. Right? I could tell you that I enjoyed being with alcoholics as I felt like I could save them, because if they were okay, then I could be okay. And even though I knew this dynamic, I still kept repeating it and I couldn’t figure out. And so truly having the resiliency to figure out how do I break this cycle of not being drawn to alcoholics? How do I break that? That is where se shifted the entire game for me, cuz I realized that my nervous system found a sense of safety in saving these men. And I had to create a new baseline of safety for my body so that I was no longer attracted to that type of safety, which was a false sense of safety. So to answer that question, it was just resiliency and doing it until I found the missing piece and this truly is the missing piece, and I wish my, my life goal is to get this work in every human’s hands because it truly is what changes lives. It’s not years and years of talk therapy.
Johanna Buckweitz:
I love that and, and again, thank you so much for like sharing your own personal story and it, it’s interesting to me though, because what you mentioned about growing up in this home where, you know, your mom always put everyone else first and so you, you know, also think automatically it’s like, oh, that’s what you have to do as well. I feel like I have heard so many women. Share that same sentiment, whether it’s like as a female entrepreneur or just a woman doing any job, career, stay at home, mom, anything. It’s this idea that everybody else has to come before themselves. So do you find that that’s fairly common and like how do you even, like how do you ship that? Right. Where like just even in general, You know, sense where like people could start realizing that it is okay to put themselves first, and that’s actually a good thing and you’re able to show up better for everyone else when you do.
Lauren Zoeller:
Yeah. So let’s look at it from an SE lens since we’re talking about it. Okay. So we know about the survival responses. We’ve learned about them. When you’re putting someone else before yourself, you are in what’s called fawning. Okay? Fawning is people pleasing. Yeah, it is. I’m gonna discount myself so that you’ll accept. Okay, so it’s going to someone else for external validation to fill your worth cup and here’s the deal. It is no different than an alcoholic who needs to run to the bottle to get that quick hit of validation. So you have to look at, okay, I’m actually repeating a trauma pattern here when I take care of my kids and when I take care of everybody else before myself. I’m doing it because I think I need to be externally validated or I think that the world’s gonna fall apart and your, your body is getting this quick hit of validation and it’s a heightened fun response. It’s not actually you in a sense of safety, because the thing is this, if you’re operating the majority of your life in what we call ventral bagel connection, this sense of, of peace and calm and safety, and you’re not in a heightened, fond response all the time. , everything gets done. I don’t care if you have 15 kids, it all gets done and at the end of the day, you’re still full yourself because you know how to operate from that sense of peace and safety and you know how important it is to source your own worth from within, then sourcing it from something external and when you operate in that space, , everything gets easier. Promise you if you don’t think that I’m, If you don’t think I’m real, try it on. Right? But it’s. .
Johanna Buckweitz:
No, that makes a lot of sense. So you talk a lot about how this type of work helps you in the way that you show up in, in your relationships, and also like from the love perspective, attracting the, you know, partner that you do desire. How else does this type of work, you know, kind of manifest itself in your experiences? Is it just with relationships or does it kind of show up in other ways too?
Lauren Zoeller:
No, it shows up every. Everywhere because how you do one thing is how you do everything. So I, I mean, I approach it from the lens of relationships and dating because as you know, in the coaching world, it’s, it’s much better to be niche.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Yeah.
Lauren Zoeller:
But the women that come into my programs, the results are not, that they find just, that they find the love of their life. They end up stepping into financial abundance. They heal health issues. We had a woman that just lost 50 pounds as a result of doing se work. So it, it taps into those core wounds that run rampant in every single area of your life. So if you don’t do this work, all of that’s gonna stay stagnant and you’re probably gonna be like, Okay, life’s okay. But it’s not amazing. It’s not great and the cool thing is, is that you get to have it. Like the women that go through this work and the men, they get to have it all, and they do have it all as a result of healing those dysregulated responses within themselves.
Johanna Buckweitz:
That makes a lot of sense. So a lot of the, like a lot of work in general, like mindset work that you hear about, you know, you always hear like it’s a lifelong process. You’re always growing and you’re always expanding. And that’s true with this type of work because you’re specifically healing certain patterns that, you know, we’re not processed right through the body and everything like that. Is it a forever work or is it actually like, hey, you’re able to kind of move through it fairly quickly and then just kind of move on. If there’s something else you identify that you wanna heal, you can do that too, but it’s like kind of one and done, or is it also ongoing?
Lauren Zoeller:
Great question. So, it’s a little bit of both and that the work is never done, right?
Johanna Buckweitz:
Yeah.
Lauren Zoeller:
We’re always, we’re as humans. When you stop growing, you die.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Yeah.
Lauren Zoeller:
I mean essentially you’ve probably heard that, that phrase before. Yes. So we’re always growing and changing. Now my goal is to give someone the tools to be able to handle the chaos when it hits, because we have to remember that trauma is generational. It also comes from childhood. You’ve also experienced a, probably at this point, if you’re older in let’s say past 20 and above, you’ve experienced several traumatic experiences that have left an imprint on your nervous system. And as the nervous system gains more capacity to safety, it feels safer to release and bring forward traumas that may have been hidden and suppressed from previous generations. So you’re always going to be uncovering new levels of yourself. But once you know how to regulate your own nervous system, my hope is that you leave with the tools to be able to regulate on your own and not feel like you constantly need to be investing in yourself to heal. Right? Now that’s not to say if something extremely traumatic shows up that you may not need to work with an SEP to renegotiate that in the body if it’s extremely detrimental. But for the most part, you should be able to take the tools that you learn when you know your nervous system and find ways to self-regulate and really work through some of this, the hard stuff. When it does come up down the line.
Johanna Buckweitz:
I love that because it’s also, it’s so empowering cuz you’re able to then apply it for yourself and like, it’s amazing to have like this whole set of tools in your toolbox. Like you said, when things show up it’s like, Oh, I know what to do. No worries. So I love that. That is awesome.
Lauren Zoeller:
Well, and it’s, it’s funny from a from a coaching. And, and honestly a therapy perspective, people are like, But how do you do it? Because that means that you’re teaching people and then they’re leaving and they’re never staying in your practice and they’re not coming back. And I’m like, Yeah, but if I’m really going to stay in integrity, I want people to be self healers, which means I’m constantly gonna be enrolling new people into this work. It’s always gonna be new people because I want them to have the tools and then leave. I don’t want them to need me anymore.
Johanna Buckweitz:
I love that you said that, and I feel like you just read my mind because I, I mean this is the perfect transition cause I actually wanted to switch a little bit to the business side of things. So that was awesome. Thank you, . That was a great transition. Okay, so switching to the business side of things, right? You talked about like when you first were getting started, you, you’d done the work on yourself. How did you actually, and I get you had some coaching experience because you were running a coaching business, but how did you actually, from a technical standpoint, Switch that whole business around. Go from that 30,000 in debt to 30,000 a month. Like what did you do?
Lauren Zoeller:
Oh my gosh. There were so many steps, the fir, but I’ll tell you the big one. The big one was that I had to get really honest with what my heart was being called to serve. I’m not saying that. I mean, I, I technically am a business coach now. I help women find money in their business, but it comes from doing the internal work. It’s not because I’m giving them another strategy, right? So what the biggest issue that I had when I first started coaching was that I wasn’t in alignment. I had not done the work and I wasn’t speaking from the work that I had done within myself to serve women and men. I was just learning strategies and trying to replicate them and teach them to people, and it wasn’t working right. So the first thing that I had to do was I had to get really honest with myself, get honest with my story and what actually shifted my life and I taught from that place and I recreated from that place. So I took, that was the first step was realigning. And then the second step was really taking time to document my process. What was the process that I went through that shifted my life drastically and that now is my program and then a lot of people laugh when I say this. Something that has been a constant for me that continues to help me up level and gain new reach and new levels of income in my business is that my stillness practice is insane When I, when things feel hard and when I’m trying to reach a new level in my business. I take more time from my schedule and I get still, I sit, I’ll give you an example of this. We hit a pretty big milestone about six months ago in the business, and I set a pretty lofty goal that I wanted to reach at least 2000 people in our collective this year. We got about three months in after setting the goal and it was looking like there was no way that we were gonna hit those numbers and so my team came to me and they were like, We need to hire more people. We need to get, we need to make sure that we’ve got more leads on the books. They started talking about all these tasks that we needed to be doing, and I told my team, Nope, everybody is gonna go clear a complete day off of their calendar for the next six weeks. You’re gonna put nothing on your calendar. I want you to go clear it right now. And they were all looking at me like I was crazy. And I said, And you’re gonna go get still. You’re not gonna do more. You’re gonna go be more. Go get still and listen to what you’re not hearing. And I’ve done this same thing over and over and over again and the beauty is that we’re gonna surpass that number this year, which is really, really beautiful. And it works every time, right? You have to connect into what is the why. What do you really want for yourself and how are you blocking what source is trying to tell you you need to do? That’s in alignment with you. If you’re just repeating things over and over again that someone else told you to do, or doing what you think you need to do, you’re gonna block that for yourself. And that goes back into manifestation, which is probably a whole another topic that we could talk about, but that’s my biggest thing, is that I find stillness. Getting to higher levels in your business requires more stillness.
Johanna Buckweitz:
I love that you said that. We actually, I think one of the first few guests on, on the show had had said two things that very much resonate with what you just said, where she said success in business is 20% strategy, 80% psychology. And she said, one of her mentors had shared with her, if you wanna speed up slowdown, and I remember when she said that how much it really resonated with me. And I, I think a lot of the women listening right now, a lot of us are a little bit more type A where we are very used to go, go, go, go. Like just being in full go mode. What action can I take? What strategy can I apply? Let me look at data, like what can I do. And it’s remembering that such a big part of it is that stillness in just being, because like your best ideas kind of come to you when you do slow down. Like for me, that’s how I also solve a problem in my business, right? If I have no idea what to do, I’m just like, okay, time out, like, and I just. The phone’s on do Not disturb calendar gets indeed same thing as you and it’s like, oh, all of a sudden I have all the answers and now I feel really good about it. Like I don’t need to be stressed. And like even just shifting into that and thinking about things from that perspective is so different and, and quite challenging I think for a lot of people because it’s, it’s opposite of everything that we’ve been taught and have heard of before when it comes to business growth. So I love that you said that. When it actually came though to like growing, let’s say your first clients, how did you even get your first few clients and then how, like what strategies from at least the strategic side of it did you implement in order for you to like continue getting more clients?
Lauren Zoeller:
Yeah, so it was a little bit of, Now if we’re talking about my very first couple of clients, it was a little bit of two different avenues that I took. The first one is social media. I just started showing up consistently and talking about what I was offering. I also, in the social media side of things, and I’ll, I’ll kind of give this little tidbit of strategy information from a business coach and a business perspective. I started reaching out to people directly and saying, Hey, I am interested in creating a program that is going to serve whoever it was that I was going to serve at that time, it was women who were interested in finding an aligned life and creating the, you know, the coaching practice of their dreams. And I would love to interview you. I have nothing to sell you. I just wanna interview you and see what you’re struggling with right now. And this helped my business I filled my entire first program with this approach. I just started getting women on the phone and interviewing them and really listening to what it was they were struggling with. And then I created a program from the struggles, and then I circled back with them and said, Hey, you know the struggles you talked to me about? I created this program. How does it look? I’m gonna do a Guinea pig round. Do you wanna be a part? It’s donation based, right? So I really listened to where people were struggling, and I built a program from there. And then the second thing that I did was I just got out there. I just got out there. I started going to yoga more. I went out into my actual local community and I did the same thing. I just started to have conversations with people and I really found out where they were struggling and what they needed help with. And I think that that’s where a lot of people miss the mark when they start into any sort of therapy, coaching, consulting, any sort of entrepreneur business. Where you’re helping other people is that they create a product that they think people need. They don’t create a product that people actually need, and that was a game changer.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Yeah, and I love what you said because it’s literally just having a conversation. Like I, I, I love that because many of us, like if you do start out that, that other way, right? Where like you start, you create a, a program or a platform or any business at all and like you create it and they will come. Well, I think many of us know that. That’s not really how it works. But when you do that, you also find out that you probably spent a lot more time and money creating it than you had to because you are trying to offer someone the sun, the moon, and the stars, and they’re just like, Please, I just want the sun. Like gimme just the sun and the best version of it.
Lauren Zoeller:
Yeah.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Without having a conversation, you don’t know that like you can so easily solve someone’s problem like by just talking to ’em and making sure that you’re like, Hey, yeah, I totally got your problem. Like I hear you. Like here’s the solution. So I love that. And one of the things that I, I absolutely love that you do and I think you do it so well is your social media. And to anyone listening, like definitely go check out Lauren’s social media one cuz she’s awesome. But two, even just from like a business standpoint, I feel its such a good example because I think many of us, when we think of content creation and social media, we think of this like super scary complex thing and we’re like, Oh no, but like I love what you do because you just literally take like a video, do a real, and you’re just like, lemme just give you some advice. And it’s like super casual. Like I don’t know if like sometimes you’re in your home or like wherever you are and it’s. There’s literally like, it’s so minimal in terms of production sense. It probably takes you super fast to do it, but it adds so much value because it’s the content. Like nobody really cares whether it’s like a crazy production or it looks like amazing. It’s like, what are you sharing? What are you saying? And everything you say is like, Oh, that’s so interesting. Even if I knew it already. I’m like, Yeah, that’s a good reminder. Thank you. Like so I actually like you’re one of those people that I follow, that I actually like watch everything that you do because I’m like, it’s actually really good. It’s really interesting. Some people not so much like, so I think it’s such a good point because it’s not this like social media in itself. It’s like not this big scary thing. Like you can do something by just literally clicking record and talking about something that you’re an expert in. Like how can you add some value and you do that so well.
Lauren Zoeller:
Oh, thank you so much. And, and it’s messy action, right? I mean, you just have to get out there and just do it. You just do it.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Yeah.
Lauren Zoeller:
I just answer questions that come in. People send me questions, I’m like, Right, I’m just gonna do a video about it. Here you go. Here’s your answer.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Yeah, but it’s quality. That’s the thing. Like, like I don’t think it matters that it’s messy action because it doesn’t even look messy. It looks like quality. Like I’m adding value. Like why am I gonna do all these other things when I don’t need to? When I could literally just answer your question, I could literally just share something that’s gonna help you. Like that’s, that’s like the best possible thing I feel like for, you know, anyone can really do. So you said now you’re trying to hit this like amazing goal, which I love in your business. How do you currently get those new clients? Cause you talked a lot about before, how it is a lot of bringing new people in because like you are doing such amazing work and providing all these great tools that someone doesn’t have to stay with you forever. So how are you actually getting those new clients?
Lauren Zoeller:
Yeah, so still the same. I mean, it’s, it’s kind of a combo of different things. One of them would be the same thing that I just spoke about and that I’m constantly having conversations with people in every scenario that I can get my hands on, I’m just talking to people. What do they need? Are they struggling in their relationships? That’s the first, That’s like low level. Second is I really do maximize every single social channel that I can, so I have a presence on TikTok. I have a presence on Instagram. I have a presence on Facebook. I have a presence on LinkedIn. We’re getting ready to build a presence on YouTube, so we’re maximizing all of the social channels we do now at this point, we run paid traffic. As well, but I’ll tell you that our paid traffic brings in maybe 10% of the people that I actually touch within my programs.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Wow.
Lauren Zoeller:
I have a really strong affiliate program for people that have been through the collective. If they refer someone, then you know they get. Compensated. And then I do a ton of speaking engagements. I’m on podcasts all the time. Really at this point, now that I have my system dialed in, it’s just a matter of how many more people can I touch with this message. And so it’s just getting myself on as many outlets as possible. And I’ll say that that is where I think people, when they start a business, do it backwards. And that they think that they need to go hire a publicist and they need to book all these podcast interviews and they need to go do all these speaking engagements, but then they don’t have their product dialed in.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Yeah.
Lauren Zoeller:
To funnel people back into. And it’s so important to have your, whatever it is that you’re serving people with, have it dialed in and make sure that it’s so good and that it really is changing lives. And then it’s just a matter of getting your face out there and bringing people to what it is that you’ve created.
Johanna Buckweitz:
I love that, and I think that’s great advice because again, that’s something also that when we first met, what resonated me with me is like, you’re like really the best at what you do. You, you created this product that’s really changing people’s lives. You have the testimonials to prove it, and then now it’s just like, how do you keep growing and scaling it? Which I think is such a great approach because at the end of the day, if like your goal is to add value, it’s how can I add so much value? Sure. Over time you might refine it even more as like we all do. You might even create a new product. Who knows? Right? But like the core product that you currently have and the core program you currently have is just incredible. And therefore it’s just how do we get more people, you know, to kind of join and see, see the benefit of it, because I know that it’s gonna change their lives.
Lauren Zoeller:
Yes, a hundred percent.
Johanna Buckweitz:
I love that. So from like a technical standpoint as someone who runs like online programs, what tools do you use that you find are, are, are the best, at least for you? Cuz I’m sure other coaches might use, you know, different programs and different technologies.
Lauren Zoeller:
Yeah, so this is this is the part of the program where I should really hand it over to my operations girl, Jess. I just wanna give her a shout out cuz she’s the one that handles all of it. But I do know one of our, our biggest Lifesavers is a program called Keep. And Keep does literally everything for us. It is our email management system, It’s our CRM system. We can send text messages out through it. If someone reaches out to me today and says, Hey, my name is, Jennifer and I just really like what you’re up to. It automatically will talk to keep, We put it in and we can, we can be with that client to make sure that him or her has the best experience from the moment that they have contact with us. So I’m a huge keep fan. That helps us tremendously. I’m trying to think what else we use from a systems standpoint that’s really helpful. I mean. I’ll tell you that we do all of our communication through an app called Voxer. I’m sure everybody’s heard of Voxer before, but it’s a walkie talkie. It’s a walkie talkie app. I connect with all my clients through there, all of our collective members. I think this is really beautiful. One of the, my biggest grapes with therapy is that when people go to therapy, you go for your 60 minute session and then you don’t see your therapist again until you pay them money.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Yeah.
Lauren Zoeller:
And maybe it’s a week, maybe it’s three weeks down the line. With Voxer, you have access to your coach the entire time that you work with us, which is the collective of the three month program. So you get access to them in your 90 minute session every week, but then you also have access to them whenever you’re going through anything. You have nine to five access on Voxer with your coach. So Voxer has been a game changer for us. And I. It’s so funny cause I was talking to another colleague of mine who we were chatting on voice notes today and she was like, I, iPhone needs to get it together. Like iPhone needs to be like Voxer or you can just sit and ramble and you don’t have to hold your finger down on the button for, you know, whatever, three minutes. But I would say of all of the kind of technical systems, those two are the ones that I don’t think that my business could survive without.
Johanna Buckweitz:
That’s awesome. Thank you. Super helpful. So overall as like you’re currently growing your business and you’re just doing amazing work, what is, at least from a challenge perspective, what is the biggest challenge that you’re currently facing right now, and how are you going about trying to solve it?
Lauren Zoeller:
Oh gosh, this is a good one. I’ll tell you, we’ve really struggled with finding good virtual assistance and finding people who really are committed to the bigger mission. And I, you know, I, you and I met through Rory Vaden and through Brand Builders Group and. , Rory said something so profound in the last application event that we were in, and that we have to remember that when we hire people that are like us, they’re like us, right? They wanna create and they wanna build. Entrepreneurs are very, we are a unique breed, and there we’re not all entrepreneurs in the world. There are, There’s so much good work that can be done by. Backing someone who’s doing big work in the world. And I would say that our, our biggest issue right now is getting that technical VA work for all of my moving parts cuz I have so many people on my team that are really dedicated to doing the minute details. And that will help us when we can, we can step back and really look at, okay, I can, we can all step into our zones of genius and we can make sure all this admin work gets done. The biggest challenge that we have is getting this work to everyone in the world. Yeah, and I don’t really look at it as a challenge cuz it’s gonna happen. Right now it’s just getting people that want to be on board and be a part of that mission and do the stuff that’s not, you know, I know it’s not fun to answer emails, but it just needs to get done.
Johanna Buckweitz:
I love that and yeah, it is a challenge trying to find someone for sure. And like, how are you currently trying to, to find the right va? What methods do you use? I’m sure you’re gonna find the right one, but currently, like how, have you kind of filtered through all the fluff there?
Lauren Zoeller:
Yeah, so the, the, the problem is that we have a lot of. I have a lot of rock stars on my team and they all need VAs. So it’s not just hiring one. We need several of them. So if anybody’s listening and they wanna, they wanna come join the team, like we have a great family, come hang out with us. So currently there’s a fantastic, a fantastic VA website out there called Social Savvy VAs. And every VA that we have hired has been from them. So, and I’m happy to give you her information. They’ve all been from her company and she trains VAs. They’re so wonderful. Our issue is that we’ve had so many rockstar players and they all get pregnant and then they can’t do VA work anymore. So, which I’m all about babies and family and, you know, living your best life, but I also understand that VA work is not forever. So, that’s where we’ve been going. We’re currently in the process of interview. I, I think I’m on maybe my 35th interview. We’re interviewing.
Johanna Buckweitz:
Oh man.
Lauren Zoeller:
People right now. I know, and it’s just finding the right team. We’re a family, so it’s just finding the right person that really is committed to our mission.
Johanna Buckweitz:
I love that. I feel like I could talk to you all day about so many things, , but just feel like, kind of wrap everything up a little bit. Like I, I know you, you’ve done so much. You fully have transformed your own life and you’ve transformed the lives of so many men and women. But for you as of today, what does success mean to you?
Lauren Zoeller: Success to me means having the ability to change the world while also having freedom for yourself. And
Johanna Buckweitz:
That’s beautiful.
Lauren Zoeller:
That’s what I have right now.
Johanna Buckweitz:
I love that. So anyone who’s listening, who’s like, Okay, I need more Lauren in my life. Where can we find you? And also, how can we support. .
Lauren Zoeller:
Yeah. Awesome. Thank you so much for asking that question. So you can find me on laurenzoeller.com. Everything that you need to know is on there. You can also follow me on Instagram at Lauren Zoeller and on TikTok at Coach Lauren Zoeller. That’s where I’m most active, and I do those videos that you were speaking about. And really at this point, just follow. Follow me, share my message. That’s how you can help. There is a, a training on my Instagram page that is a masterclass that you can go and it’s called Alone to Aligned Talks all about how you can have this life for yourself. Go watch it and absorb it and love on it. It’s free. Would love for you to do that, but that’s how you can support me is to just follow and reach out. Say, Hey, I answer all of my dms, believe it or not.
Johanna Buckweitz:
That’s awesome, . I love that.
Lauren Zoeller:
Yeah.
Johanna Buckweitz:
So before you leave us today, could you share some parting words, Wisdom that can fit on a tweet.
Lauren Zoeller:
Yeah. The life of your dreams has very little to do with what you are doing and everything to do with who you are being.
Johanna Buckweitz:
I love that. That is amazing. Lauren, thank you so much for coming on today.
Lauren Zoeller:
Thank you for having me. It was so fun.
Johanna Buckweitz:
We hope you enjoyed hearing from the incredible Lauren Zoeller, and if you did, please leave us a review on Apple, Spotify, wherever you tune in to Listen, Please share this episode with anyone who you think might enjoy it. Thank you so much for tuning in to this Speaks episode of Limitless. See you next week for a new episode.

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